My Visitors (from beyond?) July 28, 2011

Besides my amazing roommate I had  many wonderful people come visit me. Friends, relatives and a few I don’t know very well!

For much of the first week I was in an isolation room, and all visitors had to wear masks, gowns and gloves. This made it uncomfortable to say the least, but it didn’t deter these folks:

Con – My amazing sister Connie and her two beautiful babes came all the way from California. When they arrived she held those two angels up to the window in my room and it filled my heart with joy! Connie was also an awesome advocate, investigator and prayer warrior. She got the word out and asked for prayers. She questioned the docors and tried to learn as much as she could about this evil infection. AND she helped care for Noah, got him to and from school, and took over “mommy” duties while I was away. Not to mention the care packages and meal calendars and awesome tray she and the kids made me.

Meghan – (aka Moo-gan) One of Connie’s best childhood friends. Meghan is an infectious disease doctor at the U of M. She became an immediate consult to Connie, and soon showed up in my room. She spent so much time there, helping my family, learning my status, talking to my doctors. It was like I had my own private doctor there keeping my medical staff on their toes! Not to mention she was a great friend and support for my family.

Marilyn – who came too many times to count. She is like my 2nd mom, so it meant the world having her there with me.

Ames – My dear friend. She spent so much time there with my family, that I’m sure the nurses thought she was a sister too! She brought amazing sandwiches and treats for my family and some special healing honey for me  

Karen – Our parish Nurse from church. She brought me a prayer shawl, a hand-carved, hand held cross, and communion.

John & Kayte – It was so kind of them to come visit when I was at my worst. Sadly I don’t have a lot of recollection of them being there. I know they brought me a wonderful book, and pretty plant. I also know it was tough to be there and I thank both of them for taking the time to stop by.

Torri and Boo, my two dear friends.

Uncle Larry & Penny who were nice enough to stop by for a visit.

And of course my mom, dad, Craig and Cathie were there all the time.

And then there was Aunt Pat who brought some friends with her.  I think it was a Friday when she stopped by, but I hesitate to say for sure because I was pretty confused during much of this time. I do know that I felt particularily chipper that morning, and I had my favorite nurse Barb. (She was truly the epitome of a good nurse….I LOVED her! And having a really good nurse was a rarity so I was thrilled) That morning she got me out of bed and had me sitting in the rocking chair for breakfast and ready to greet my visitors. I remember someone telling me that Aunt Pat was coming, as well as a few others.

The first visitor that day was Karen, the parish nurse from our church. and then Uncle Larry and Aunt Penny. After they left, things get fuzzy. I think I felt tired and got back into bed. I’m told this is when my condition started to take a downward slide. From that point on I don’t remember much of that day or the few that followed.

I do however remember waking up at one point and looking over at the seating area in my room. I saw Aunt Pat sitting there, right in the middle of the couch. There were other people there too. I can’t recall who they were, but they were all squished together sitting on the couch and she was sort of “scrunched” in the middle of them. I can still see all of them sitting there, kind of struggling for their own space on the couch.  I can’t see their faces, and have no recollection of who I thought they were.

At some point days later, when I was more coherent, I asked Cathie who was there with Aunt Pat. She said “What do you mean?” I told her that I saw Aunt Pat there, but there were other people on the couch with her. Several of them.

She said Aunt Pat came alone and sat on the couch alone. There were no other visitors there when she was there. She was sitting in the middle of the couch and the only other person in the room was Cathie and she was in the rocking chair chatting with Aunt Pat.

(insert Twilight Zone music here)

I’m not sure who those additional visitors were…perhaps a figment of my pain-pill altered imagination? Perhaps some of my relatives visiting from beyond?

I think we’ll probably never know.

In any event I am thankful for all of the visitors I had. I know this crazy bug has many unknowns and it’s a little scary to visit anyone that has it.

I don’t think I could have gotten through this without all the love and support from everyone. Those who visited and those who prayed and sent well wishes.

So again, I thank each and every one of you!

Riding The Rollercoaster of Recovery July 21, 2011

It is truly a rollercoaster ride. Up and down. Good news and bad news. I sometimes wonder when the ride will stop.

This is just a short update for those of you that are wondering how I’m doing.

I met with the spinal-nuero surgeon on Monday. For now he has decided to hold off on surgery. The fluid that they aspirated from the infection site on my spine is behaving well. It isn’t growing anything. So they feel okay waiting and watching to see if the antibiotics will do their job and get rid of the rest of the infection. (this part is the good news. I’m happy there will be no surgery for now)

However, there is permanent damage to some of the vertebrae of my spine. The infection, for the most part lived in the soft tissue around the spine, but some of it settled on the bones and left their mark. It is likely that arthritus will eventually settle in to that area and act as a permanant reminder of this wild ride.

Also, my weekly blood test results came back elevated this week for the second week in a row. There are 2 numbers they look at to watch my progress – the CRP and the Sed-rate. Both are indicators of infection in my body. Both have gone up again. The doctors are stumped. There is a note of concern in their voice. Those numbers should be going down every week not up. Not sure what the next step is, but I meet with the Infectious Disease Doc. tomorrow so hopefully I’ll know more then.

Thanks again for following me, and for all your prayers and support!
Love you all!

My Roommate July 17, 2011

I cannot tell this story without telling you about my wonderful roommate.  Yes even in critical care ICU I had a roommate. (surprising – huh?)

And she was amazingly wonderful. She greeted all my guests, kept the room organized, she listened to every detail and questioned the multitude of doctors that came and went, she kept the nurses on their toes. If I needed something or had a pain of any sort she was on top of it, getting me the help I needed, the meds, the ice packs or the pillows. She kept me fully stocked with ice at all times (and if you know me you know how important this is) She brought me hair binders when I was burning up and my hair was making me crazy. She brought me LeeAnn Chin’s when the hospital food was making me nauseous, she brought magazines and sugar free candy, and anything I needed. Anything.

Most noticably she was always there. When I would drift off to sleep she was there, when I would wake up she was there, when I was in excrutiating pain she was there, or when I was feeling good she was there.

She was my voice, my right arm, my spokesperson, my advocate, my friend. My sister.

Cathie gave up her life and literally lived at the hospital with me. They tell me she went home to sleep but I don’t have any recollection of that.

We’ve been roommates a few times before, but never have I felt so blessed. Never have I appreciated having her by my side as much as I did during this crisis.

So thank you “roomie”. For being there, for speaking up for me, for listening to all the details of all the tests, labs, scans, MRIs and x-rays. Thank you for asking questions when it didn’t seem to make sense, and for getting on those “bad” nurses. Thank you for organizing my room and monitoring the flow of visitors. Thank you for the little treats and “extras.” Thank you for being you, my dear friend and wonderful sister. I am so very blessed.

(and thank you Dave for lending me your wife )

Miracles Among Us… July 16, 2011

And so with a diagnosis in hand the treatments began. Or at least several attempts at treatment.

I have very little memory of this phase.  I was pretty much out of it, so most of what I will tell you here was told to me. Pain pills helped relieve some of the pain, but the headaches they caused kept me in agony.  If I wasn’t sleeping, I was in too much pain to pay attention to much else.

The little memory I have is of being hot all the time. I was probably burning up with fever, but all I knew is my face felt like it was on fire. My dear mom was at my bedside with cool rags constantly. I know this was all so hard on her and she desperately wanted to do something, anything for me.

The steady stream of antibiotics began, and (from what I’ve been told) they began failing, one after another. They would hook me up, wait several hours or overnight and watch for the numbers to go down. When it didn’t happen they’d try a new one. After several failed attempts one of my doctors went to my family with tears in his eyes and said something to the effect of “I’m so sorry, we’ve tried everything we can.”

My sister and my mom went home in tears and discussed how they would help care for my boys. (This is one of those crazies that freaks me out a bit.)

The next day they came in with a new antibiotic, a new combination to try. “The really strong stuff.” Everyone prayed over it and my sweet sis Connie kissed the bags of fluids as they hooked them up to me.

The following day my numbers began their descent. By some miracle it worked.

Like many people that have gone through an experience like this, I am a bit in awe. Not really understanding why I was spared. Knowing full well that it could have so easily gone the other way.

I must have more to do on this earth. God must have plans for me. I intend to figure out what they are and to make the most of every day I have.

For now I am focused on healing and being ever so grateful. I absolutely believe in the power of prayer and I am convinced that it saved me. I heard that at one point 6 churches had included me in their prayers, not to mention all of YOU! My family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, friends of family…etc. etc. etc. praying for me. I am absolutely overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support and there is no question it got me through the worst of this. Ever so humbly I thank you with every fiber of my being. It seems like such a simple two words. Thank you. But they are truly heartfelt to every single one of you out there that gave your thoughts, prayers, love, and support. I am absolutely blessed.

Matthew 18:19-20 “Again, truly I tell you that if two or more of you on earth agree about anything and ask for it in prayer, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Welcome! July 15, 2011

♪ ♫ ♪ “I was in my early forties, With a lot of life before me,
An’ a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, Looking at the x-rays,
An’ talking ’bout the options an’ talkin’ ‘bout sweet time….”♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

Welcome to my blog! I’m starting this for a couple reasons. 

I hope this will help to keep some of you updated on my recovery progress. I have so many kind, caring, loving friends and family that have literally come out of the woodwork in the last couple of months. Offering prayers, help, and asking about my progress- this is a way to keep you all updated without posting each step a hundred times over on facebook.

PLUS I think I need a way to get  some of the crazies out of my head. This whole process and my encounter with my own mortality has really had an impact on me. I need an outlet for the thoughts in my head. I can’t promise it will be sane, legible or meaningful. I just know that it’s been a wild ride and it’s affected me dramatically. I am still struggling to make sense of it all.

I didn’t go sky diving, or rocky mountain climbing, and I definitely didn’t go two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
But maybe I am loving deeper and speaking sweeter.

And maybe, just maybe this is another key component to my recovery process.

Thanks for reading this far and I look forward to sharing my thoughts with you!

It’s a hurt…It’s a pain….it’s SUPERBUG! July 12, 2011

Often people ask how in the world I got this crazy bug. I have no answers. 

It started as a pain in my back sometime in late April. For weeks I wrote it off as a strained muscle. Ibuprofin and hot packs did nothing for it. The pain got worse. Eventually in mid-May I went to the ER at Fairview Lakes. The first diagnosis they gave me, was the joint where my spine and my pelvis connect was inflamed. Of course there were no tests, no scans, no x-rays….just a guess.  They gave me pain pills and sent me on my way.

24 hours later I was back. The pain was intense and wasn’t improving with the meds. Soon I was heading out the door with a new, stronger prescription in hand, this time it was percoset and valium.

3 days later I was back again. The pain was unbearable. I was running a 102º temp. The doc told the nurse to send me home and tell me to come back if it persisted. (really?)

The next day I called my Aunt Marilyn. A nurse all her life she has always been the medical consult in the family. Without hesitation she told me to go to Region’s. In that moment she probably saved my life. Had I not gone in or had I gone back to Fairview, I may not have gotten a diagnosis and begun treatment in time.

My mom drove me down. I remember sitting in a triage room. The rest gets fuzzy. I know they admitted me right away after finding some curious spots on my lungs. Initially they thought TB. It all went so fast and yet the moments ticked by.

After 3 days TB was ruled out and a new diagnosis was announced; MRSA, the superbug.